A pep talk

I think that those of us that have periodic run ins with the quintessential "Bad Day", ahem pretty much everybody, should consider writing a missive from your cheerful powerful self to your insecure-slovenly-bad-attitude-to match-the-bad-hair-day self.

I have moments where I am in such a fabulous mood and I feel so strongly rooted in myself that I know that I could handle just about anything well. When I unconditionally believe in my ability to handle both the rocky path I see and the thundering I hear that holds the possibility of an incredibly large waterfall just around the bend, when I feel that flexible inner strength, knowing I can accept both my failures and my successes with equal grace, this is the feeling I wish I could evoke on those days.

Those days.

I have a plan, a wonderful true to my goals and my essence plan! I am one of those people that feels better when I have a plan, I also like to fly by the seat of my pants but I'll take a plan if there doesn't happen to be a flying carpet available.

SO here is the Plan: write, draw, sculpt, create a scent or texture that captures your good day when you are having a good day. Make more than one project, write more than one poem, novel, letter, or paint more than one canvas, rock, etc, (if possible) then hide it, save it and wait.

When needed break glass. Not just any glass (though that is it's own type of therapy for some) rather I mean the glass ceiling that you mind has created sticking you in the day of your nightmares. Break it with your own personal insight into your unique flavor of joy. Then determine your commitment to bear that joy in your soul. Cleave close to you mind that strength of purpose and do something that embodies your vision.

Allow yourself to be filled with purpose and forward momentum.

Giving

I have just remembered recently the power of giving in our lives. Honestly, when I do give in a mindful state of awareness my energy sky rockets. It is a testament to the new research that is coming out that proves that "healthy" brains are hard wired with compassion and perhaps generosity as well. It is a true wonder when we explore our true natures with out the baggage that says "To come out on top some one must lose and by the way it better not be me".

Giving and laying all yourself into a task is freeing in ways that surprise me I wonder if I will ever be enured to this feeling of grace and wholeness. I hope not.

For more information see
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/27/AR2007052701056.html
http://www.news.wisc.edu/14944

Jess

The Value of Disorder

I just decided that I need to write on this because, damn it, I seem to have a lot of disorder in my life and my deep faith tells me that there is a reason for everything. Yes, everything. The socks on the floor that had a match for a total to two seconds after they made it through the front door, the piles of jackets, toys, backpacks, the book case over stuffed with stuff come on you know what I mean, right? Maybe not, I know that there are people with neat houses who do not clean all day long. Seriously. How they do it I think is a state of mind.

I think maybe disorder tells us something about our lives. It gives us an external clue of when we are on the mark and when we are not.

It is not only whether there is a mess but also how we feel about the mess. There are messes that we look at and know there is order just underneath not very far below the surface of what we see. Then there are messes that do not bother us at all because we look and instead of a true mess we see our choices made and accepted. We went to visit the grandmother an hour away instead of doing dishes or took our child to ballet after work. These messes are temporary, we can feel it in our bones; it is when we despair and the mess seems permanant that we should look at the clutter and disorganization as a clue to an inner state that needs our compassionate attention.

What does your environment tell you? How do you listen?

"Perserverence is stubbornness put to good work"

Okay, I think I have come up with my very first ever quotable quote! (if I am mistaken and someone has already said this please break it to me gently:) How thrilling! I am in love with these words! Perseverance is stubbornness put to good work.

I think it so important to be stubborn. Just think about it for a moment. I am not talking about a blind flailing stubbornness. I am talking about lets get off our butts (mental verbal or otherwise) and just really commit; let nothing stand in our way. I am talking about some serious task commitment.

I have recently uncovered my stubbornness and I have fallen deeply and willingly in love! Have you ever been advised to argue with your self? It is a marvelous practice. I have found that it brings forth many opportunities to strengthen your inner will and uncover soft spots in your thought structures. I think many do it with out realizing it but it is a wonderful process to bring to your consciousness and fully revel in it!


Doing is what I must do in order to achieve; too often I hide and retreat. Then I must rediscover what I uncovered with less consciousness and tenaciousness in the past. I have uncovered once again that the joy of life is in it's work, it's challenge. Not in it's grumbling, nor in its sloth. Being and doing are the twin heart beats of a life well lived!

In honor of my first quote I have added some fun quotes at the bottom of my blog. They will change daily so be sure to visit frequently to get your bite sized doses of wisdom and thought.

Thank You for Reading,
JB

Contentment and Peace

A   friend and I discussed these two words recently and the ideas that spread and trail behind them, I expressed in a small way my views on these two words and it has inspired me to revisit how these ideas affect my use of time.  

Contentment for me implies that where you are is good enough, that there is no further to reach and nothing that you feel motivated to change.  It says to me "Hey where I am is great, why would I ever want things to change?"

I don't want to completely knock contentment but I think that it is best in small doses, think 'savoring the moment'.  After having achieving a goal it is nice to reflect on and enjoy your accomplishment.  It recharges the batteries and allows one to absorb the deeper teachings of that leg of your journey.  

However, lets not wallow!  Stagnation is no one's friend. 

Is this the way one should live life striving for contentment?  How would it look if we all were content?   Would we ever again dare to venture forth out side of our day to day lives to create or discover something new?

Excellent question.  I suggest you answer it for yourself.

Peace is a very different word for me to me it expresses a certain ability to create flow within. Where you have a strong inner foundation of reality that is flexible as well, you often have inner peace.  You can accept where you are and how things work in this now but are willing to input new information and get different results.  

For me peace is an essential tool that if I have it on board I can navigate my daily life with grace and joy because there is no fear.  My motivations and goals spring from a source that is more pure than fear.

Peace arises and deepens as I uncover layer by layer my inner self and who I am.

JB

The Finite Flow

Finite
adjective

1.	having bounds or limits; not infinite; measurable.

2.	Mathematics. a. (of a set of elements) capable of being completely counted. b. not infinite or infinitesimal. c. not zero.

3.	subject to limitations or conditions, as of space, time, circumstances, or the laws of nature: man's finite existence on earth.

Profusion-
–noun

1.	abundance; abundant quantity.

2.	a great quantity or amount (often fol. by of).

3.	lavish spending; extravagance.

time
noun.1.

a. A nonspatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.

b. An interval separating two points on this continuum; a duration: a long time since the last war; passed the time reading.

I love the sub-title of my blog because it captures my view of time so well. Exploring my conflict with time and how it progresses has been very interesting.

Perhaps I have read way too much quantum physics material but it does seem to be a sort of Schrödinger's cat situation where both, finite and profusion, are true of time all at once. At least that is until one perceives it as one or the other.

So my work is to perceive time as infinite and my capabilities as limited only by my choice of perspectives and my level of initiative.

If anyone got what I was saying... cool.

Definitions are from the the Free Dictionary by Farlex and Dictionary.com an Ask.com service

Where are we?

Well it is an interesting question isn't it with myriad answers, we are in this physical space, yes, but we are also in this mental space, and for many, a spiritual space. Is time use a mental exercise, of course. Is time use a spiritual exercise? I think many people would say yes actually.

Each moment is a separate and yet connected multi-faceted jewel. A jewel we can cradle with our awareness or we can let it pass us by it's rich beauty gone. Tenaciously we attempt to grip both the past and often a future; which we use our now to prepare for. Oddly we cannot hold anything except the now. This is idea of being present in the now has been filtered through many lenses. Newspaper, television sitcom, magazines, word of mouth, email advice, religious text etc...So you have probably already run across it.

The now.

The now...

THE NOW!

It seems for me that thinking this way provides relief but I also feel pressured, to take this moment into account and live it well. I once told a friend of mine that the only thing I must do to achieve happiness is to live this moment well.

That's it.

I have only run into true trouble when I don't think through what that looks like or when I attempt to do too much. For me it is as if I am over loading my washing machine in an attempt to catch up on laundry till nothing gets clean. In real life when I attempt too much I get nothing done, it is a terrible and overwhelming state.

As deepen my understanding of how to live each moment well, relief and peace increase and become a way of being.

Next time more thoughts on the Infinite Profusion of Time
JB

Accepting

Ok by saying that I wish to accept I mean that I intend to realize that my goals are or are not being accomplished fully and completely and then choose to do one of three things: Delegate, Set aside, or choose to sacrifice.

Delegate: To pass on a task to someone else

I often think I can accomplish more than I actually can and there for do not often choose to delegate. Also I hate not doing it myself.

Set Aside: to temporarily or permanently leave a task or goal unfinished

This is the one I am the worst at I choose my goals and desires very carefully and though I ask a lot of myself I know that each and every one of my goals are wonderful and meaningful to me.

Choose to Sacrifice: to trade in one ideal or perk in order to achieve the intended outcome

This is by far my favorite but it comes with a hefty price for example right now I am starting to drag and my day is only about half over because I decided to stay up late and clean my house last night. But I am so happy to be in a sane environment I don't really care how tired I am.

Once I begin to accept my actual state of being I find it much easier to move to deciding which tool is best suited to me and my goal(s).

Do you have any tools for achieving that you would like to share?

Breakthrough!

Ok here it is in all it's wonder and splendor; Joy and release. I have figured out part, perhaps even the main part, of why I have felt so deeply stuck in a mire of "but I don't want too!".

Now prior to the last year and a half I had nearly always felt motivated and up to it. As long I was interested then I was gung hoo and the stuff I wasn't interested in was not essential. I loved everything even washing dishes and organizing!

But what has changed in the last year or so? Well my standards of what I wanted to accomplish enlarged. I started getting more involved in my community which I wanted I started a business which I wanted I spent time with my two two year olds and bought a house and moved in and worked on getting flooring in all readily on the 'I want it' list. There is more, but you get the idea... So what does this mean? This means that I, who am utterly spoiled in the sense that I am used to suffering only minor (to me) difficulties and navigating them with ease, have had many of my goals not be achieved with quality or at all. So I have been feeling that my actions are not aligning with my inner drives. And as Suze Orman says our happiness arrises most readily when our actions are alighned with our inner truth/self. So my happiness has been faltering because although I was trying to act in ways that were true to my self I didn't accomplish them. So this has sapped me on soo many levels: emotionally, confidence wise, and even personal energy.

Next step accept, accept, accept. More on this in the next post!

The Finite Profusion of Time

Hello all,

I decided to change my sub-title since this blog seems to be really rolling deep in the time groove. I would like to learn more about time and how I use it. This is my space to explore that issue. I love to get things done but sometimes the motivation is not there so I think I will spend some time being aware or perhaps more aware of what motivates me for the following month. Is my plate too full am I dragging myself to places and decisions that ultimately not meet my needs? Is this just all a matter of "too much change in a short period of time?" as my 9 year old has said recently? Do I need to label this ennui in order to move through it?

As you may have noticed this feeling of "f-it all" has bleed into my blogging...

Answers from the cyberspace neighborhood and beyond appreciated...

Spanish learning E-style

Hey all you language buffs this program is for real! Free and totally organized for nearly everyone with a leaning toward you visual learners! So be wild and start the course as your first step toward a philanthropic (or pleasure) cruise to Latin America! Or just for fun; think pen pals!

Wowsers

OK Well my wondrous plan for 20-20-20 is working kind of. I did stick with it for a day and found it to be freeing, but I realized I have a tendency to gravitate toward working on a particularly pressing project rather than switching gears as I meant to.

I think this is just a flow I am going through. Yeah, I admit that is just my way of making nice with my irritation with my self. Writing it is just a flow. Everything is a flow, this one reminds me of the rapids you can hear coming up when you are white water rafting but you can't prepare because there is no visual. Maybe I am too close? Probably.

I have been trying to resolve this issue I will kindly label it "scattered motivation". I have desires and simple steps to achieve them. Seriously, doable-steps folks. Yet I have slogged through many a day to accomplish a pittance of my intentions... am I lazy? Those closest to me say not. What then? Ennui? Boredom? Disconnection?

So far my method of dealing has been by direct head on, grrrr, face the facts methods. It has been a most vexing path (for this slippery issue) so I will try another method. I will time manage. I will keep my precious to-do lists, but add in two more components: Bruce Mau's Incomplete Manifesto for Growth and Lists of Accomplishments at the end of each day.

Has anyone dealt with this issue? Or maybe you have your own take on Bruce Mau... Post your thoughts and comments... I will reply to all posts:)

-me

Gosh darn busy days

Well we all have them, and the world has more to spit at us (in plenty) whenever we feel too under-burdened. So not to worry (I know deep deep down you were worried) busy days are here to stay. It is however unfortunate that it is not so much the world as our own grabbing and catching reflexes that often seem to be the culprit.

I realized this a while back ago and so I periodically go through my list of obligations and decide whether it is still feeding me. Is this still filling my cup, I ask. Could someone else gain or give more in this area? Am I willing to let it go? This works for me I have let go of many obligations but now I am down to the wick folks. I can cull no more.

In strolls time management whose skill set may be able to answer the questions of: How do I turn off my incessant busyness? How do I notice my small achievements rather than always living for the ultimate goal (which by the way leads to the next ultimate goal) because, I am here to say being busy all the time is way too much, and surprisingly infective. I seem to accomplish one goal only to find I have negleted another two or three and an entire hour or more has passed! Frustrated, yeah a little.

If I am to have nearly every minute filled with minutia then let it be useful effective minutia. I am sure that I am not the only one rowing this kind of wayward boat. I have found temporary solutions but they seem to fizzle rather swiftly. Maybe I just need a good self help book, right?

Here is my new plan it is the 20-20-20 plan 20 minutes for my goals, 20 minutes for the goals of others I support and then finally 20 minutes for the daily tasks that keep the household running. This would be for managing my 'at home' time.

My plan comes from a fact I read somewhere that states the human brain works best in 18 minute increments. What this means is that the first 18 minutes of any activity are the most productive. I like the number twenty simple because it is a round number and it is nearly a half an hour. I also find it nice that after one cycle a nice round hour will have passed. This I hope will convince my subconscious into believing that I have managed to accomplish three half hours worth of accomplishments.

That is one nice round chunk of minutia, folks. (I hope;)

Clovershade

First Post

Hello World, Hello Self, Hello,

This is something new for me to pour myself into and run the ferris wheel, sometimes more like the hamster wheel, of my thoughts through. I find it fascinating what I discover whenever I drop everything and type out a few lines. A lot of the time things will surface that had been bobbing around unnoticed for quite sometime. Like the title of my blog Cartwheels On The Ceiling, I hadn't thought of that phrase for quite a while, years- quite possibly even a decade, when I decided it would be perfect for my Blog.

Cartwheels On The Ceiling is a phrase that I had made up to communicate how happy and elated and truly over the top I felt about a subject, event, person etc... "Yes I want to go to the concert I will be doing cartwheels on the ceiling for a month waiting!" Eventually it evolved in usefullness becoming a perfect phrase to use sarcastically (ahh sarcasm, anyone out there share my love of sarcasm?) as in "Yeah, that'll be fun I'll just go do cartwheels on the ceiling it sounds so fun".

I dont think the phrase ever mainstreamed but if you have ever heard it or used it most likely one of the following occured, the currents and tidal flows of society brought it to you, you know me, or possibly it was one of the phreakish things where by two or more completly separate entities create identical or near identical ideas at the same time (more power to ya how ever you came accross it).

In this instance, however, as far as the usage of the phrase, I have realized that after years of disuse instead of being rusty and hard to connect with the words from my youth, misspeant or not, have richer meaning. Now when I chose this for a title I found that my perspective was largly that Cartwheels On the Ceiling describes how I feel about my life. It is impossible, unweildy, silly, speckled with seemingly useless plodding through or pushing of events (much like I imagine learning how to do cartwheels might be, were it a task), unique, and really truely beautiful in a Cirque Du Soliel kind of way.

My question to the readers out there is simple: Do you have favorite phrase or idea that you have kicked about that is unique to you and has evolved to mean more or less through the years?

I invite you to share it and any other thoughts or comments.

Thank You for reading,

Clovershade